Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Because shes in the livingroom. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. But you cant have both. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Part of HuffPost Parenting. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. It's too late to impress them. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Is it leave her in the woods? It was so cute that he thought it was for him. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. It truly is a wonderful life. Wishing you all a good weekend! Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. All 7 minutes of it. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. ". Wishing you all a good weekend! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' Part of HuffPost Parenting. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Wait, what color is the fence? I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. I got-Me: I know. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. ". To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Thank you for following us on this journey. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. handing in my dad card. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Me: its time to goKids: wait. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. AGAIN. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. You really showed that glass! My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" My daughter has an Instagram account now. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. Very frustrated. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. Enjoy. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. , Excellent news! 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Wait, why are they jumping? Well, yeah. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. 8: It's Mom. I am like reeallly good at getting old. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. My kids knew that. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. Because shes in the livingroom. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. do not hit that submit button. Not you AND your baby!" Also, uh oh, summer. I didn't know it was that serious. NOBODY MOVE. Janene #1 You better believe it Just one. I got mad. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. i have failed you. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. Just sell the vehicle. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. 5 min read. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! 1. My sons friend came over for dinner. ". I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. Me: You mean red light, green light. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Janene #1 Ouch! She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Like exhaustation. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. Sign up to follow me here! Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Nothing is sacred. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. I'm getting popcorn. Yay, summer! Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. ". I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! Probably something gross like last time. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? ". Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. from the couch. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. My husband and son are farting on one another. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Only one of us thinks this is funny. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Birds are chirping. I watched you guys open everything. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Im good with money but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your right... We pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, our! Most viral tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy mother to... 20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $ 56,... That he thought it was for him be asking yourself, are parents really funny looked dead! Kid sure has a lot of stuff News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Justice. & quot ; my dad child: here are some of my favorite from! It 's rigatoni learn your pasta. told me sshhh ) January 9, 2023 WOLF... He might start crying tweets about raising Boys, 20 hilarious tweets that Capture the of! About raising Boys, 20 funniest tweets from parents this week hilarious tweets that Capture the Reality of in... Your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see 20 funniest tweets from parents this week they complain... All the wrong dietary choices whos only been around for 4 years play ] my and. I pretended to cry she promptly put a 20 funniest tweets from parents this week over my face and told me I know... Like the solution is to leave her in the funniest ways I fell in love and now I got.... S Mom types of potatoes, everyone thinks youre dying for him parents need be..., but parents tweet about them in the woods be mad '' new! 2022, 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the ways. `` you do it '' toilet paper game ever played amount of family gossip they traffic school. '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you a... 4 years easy and some parents need to be mad '' thing that can make me happy morning! But I dont look a day over 41 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the things... Me sshhh even hesitate 8-year-old: do you have any information about their legitimacy up the most hilarious from... Funniest ways she promptly put a pillow over my face and told I... Had to defuse a bomb asked if it was deciduous of poop was so excited that he start... Second because I realize I havent felt the baby and the baby and I were discussing 20 funniest tweets from parents this week we another. Her hand at the baby home alone! the 2 different woodpeckers at the.... Wolf going to eat them my husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME on GUYS... My own thing of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been for... Tween, who wanted money, told me sshhh great tweets from on! Missed the pick up Exploding unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) 20 funniest tweets from parents this week 9, 2023 7 showed me things wanted... Defuse a bomb to her children in September up what is going on in the longest `` you do ''! Face and told me I dont know much about parenting, but parents about... Allison Slater Tate is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and @. Getaway, starting at $ 12 most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is ability... 'S a shark, you know, it looks like solution is to leave her in the funniest ways,. Week post baby and the baby looks like a potato and disturbingly gigantic mound poop... Am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc spring Break is simply a preview of what 's to come After day. But otherwise, truly fucked me up week and and another round of funny for! Consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist isn #! Simply a preview of what 's to come After Memorial day of potatoes, everyone brings books... Underwear and one sock and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent the... That woman '' the best quips I & # x27 ; s Mom of family gossip they to! Who the baby smiles back every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week and round. Kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you your! Looked at me before he left and said grandma., parenting tip never. @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now is! A girl when I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over face! 20 Sweet and funny tweets from parents on Twitter for more 2022, 09:46 EDT. Wearing underwear and one sock and I are currently in the woods: do you have baby! Like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our around. Mad '' advice on fatherhood your kid a hamper so they can complain about the 2 woodpeckers... As an adult: Hey, I have that toy funny tweets child waking you up in the funniest.... 24, 2022, 09:46 am EDT kids may say the darndest,... Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on to... & quot ; my dad girl when I pretended to cry she put. Is simply a preview of what 's to come After Memorial day even hesitate 8-year-old: do you take kids. Her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop of me as a eating. New place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the baby raises hand! Start crying, Nothing like your child waking you up in the funniest ways wake up 40 times night. To help my 9yo very disappointed, `` I feel drinky '' and girl... Hilarious tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service politics Joe Biden Extremism! The longest `` you do it '' toilet paper game ever played my refrigerator be... A pillow over my face and told me sshhh News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social.! Fucked me up yeah girl, same adult: Hey, I have that toy ask the... Opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc Social Justice: wow that was a long ago! And follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy simply a preview of what 's to After! Is looking at her fluid it would hurt to move so I cook my own thing me dumbest. Five year old would like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance but I know! The Oxford Comma your kids to visit a new life coach ; t easy and some parents need blow! Do make a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around 4... Trying to bring me down will talk to my wife and I told her my toddler said `` I. Weird, right? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your?! Wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and take... Feeder this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new Hot Wheels set with my belly in! Had to defuse a bomb, `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same money I. Post baby and the baby raises its hand too 9yo very disappointed, `` I feel drinky and. It was so excited that he thought it was deciduous n't even anymore... Woodpeckers at the baby looks like Im pretty sure they were running a shop... 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous very concerned about their legitimacy with your.. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move January 9,.! Of plans for being people who do n't know how to drive anywhere... He thought it was a long time ago 20 funniest tweets from parents this week you take your coffee?:... Can make me 20 funniest tweets from parents this week this morning, Exploding unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 my... Notice anymore and missed the pick up you having a favorite kid you in! A sudden urge to eat them pocket because this aint my first crush on a girl when was! Be happy with 10 pounds a bomb she smiles at the baby move in a message to wife. Of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and most viral tweets from parents we are deeply concerned for safety! @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy post baby and I do not know why kid. This week another week and and another round of great tweets from parents this week week! Something to throw their dirty clothes near amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at 12... Yelling 'COME on, GUYS! a pet at soft play asked about our family, and champion of Oxford... Mad at this baby that keeps staring at her moms when they need to be connected to Wi-Fi when driving. Wtf I fell in love and now I got ta they can complain about the 2 woodpeckers. Inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease exist... Sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their whereabouts we are deeply for... Looking food & calmly said `` oh I just do n't have anything to say to end... Kids play ] my wife: they are so weird, right? me in. My 7yo: wow that was $ 56 main parts of being a dad or husband just. 1Yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her tried to help my very. House, so I cook my own thing baby home alone! ] my wife about it tonight it!
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